It is over !!!!!

Yes yes yes....it is finally over. Thru with the 6 chemo cycles and back home. Bit of an anticlimax really as I have been waiting and waiting for this day so much that now am at a loose end believe it or not. Cant decide how to feel :-)....just waiting to recover this week and then I should be back in Delhi by 2nd week of May for some tests and radiation etc. What a journey it has been. Rushing to kol overnight with just some 6 sets of clothes, surgery, ICU, cnfusion over diagnosis, chemo, infections etc etc ....cannot believe what all I experienced in these few months. Overriding of course remains the thoughts of family, sister, brother in law,mom, Zahir, dad and Zoya's constant presence and love, rally of friends and strangers, colleagues and casual acquaintances...met so many incredible people. Cannot wait to be back to my life and get back with things............needed this experience also i suppose to appreciate what I have much more !!!Catch u all later with more updates on this 'golden" period. Thanks again to all who are reading my blog and posting comments. feels wonderful that am in ure thoughts and prayers

At Last

Am ready to check in for my last chemo on Friday. Cannot believe it is almost going to be over. When I started in January it seemed such a long way off. But time just flew. So many wonderful things have happened in the last 3 months with friends and family get togethers. On monday was Bengali New Year and my uncle and aunt who were visiting told me that they hoped it would be a very good year for me as the last year had gone so badly. Believe me for a moment I could not understand what they were talking about. I did not remember that it had been a bad year. Sure it had its ups and downs and I guess more downs than ups but in the end of the day all that mattered was that it was coming to its conclusion. I am sure I can look forward to a much better time in the months to come and think of getting back to my house in delhi, putting Zoya to school there and going for a family vacation. it is so great that so many people are reading my blog and posting comments wishing me well. I am so lucky....will b ewriting again after am back from the hospital.....

Buls goes back

I came back on Sunday after the 5th chemo. Was a very smooth and short experience and except for some nursing glitches went well. Have been feeling fine physically as well. Yesterday Buls went back to the US after a wonderful stay of 2.5 months. Feeling quite low since then. Her stay was so good that we are all feeling totally empty in the house and suddenly conversations have ceased. All my life I have been the responsible elder sister to her and have been her protective, disapproving elder sibling. So much so that she used to say if she ever went to jail she would call Zahir for bail and never call me !!! In this visit of hers I felt totally different. I felt she was the elder sister and she took on the role of totally mothering me and spoiling me. Not only medically keeping a hawk's eye on the progress of my treatment but emotionally supporting me each step of the way. Encouraging me to be so postive and upbeat and strong and keeping close eye on what I wanted to do, cooking for me and entertaining me . It seems I totally lost my ability to think and used to rely on her for the simplest of decisions .I keep thinking of the endless ludo and scrabble sessions, midnite movies at Thakurpukur and endless discussions on alll topics under the sun. What I so regret that perhaps we will both never get this time back as visits in future will be always full of things to do and much shorter in duration.Her visit was what so me through the most difficult phase of my treatment these months in such a comfortable and beautiful way.........how do you thank your sweet little younger sister for that? Will miss you darling Buls